Does This Baby

Three weeks ago I put Elle to bed. When she reached for my nipple I whispered to her, "Sorry babe, no more mommy milk. You drank it all." She signed, "Oh no" closed her eyes, and went to to sleep. FREEDOM!!! It worked. At two and a half years old, I finally got her off my boob. I thought about weaning her at a year, when I went back to work, but I liked the closeness of breastfeeding at the end of a long day apart. It's always been manageable for the most part, so it didn't bother me too much that she was still on the boob at two years old. Even though other moms, my own mother, and women without kids were telling me that I needed to get her off. The worse part about breastfeeding was everyone else's opinion about how long I should breastfeed for. You'd think they'd be in awe of my steady milk production. Sometimes I'd want to snide back, "I can't help that I have such a young, and fertile body". I'll never, ever, ev...

I've spoken about this before. There are many things I vowed I wouldn't do as a mom, but now find myself eating those words. I promised myself I'd never, ever, ever brag about my daughter. How lame is it when you're at a dinner party and some asshole corners you, and starts talking about their kid. Who the f*ck cares. Ya, kids are cute. I'm sure yours is great, but seriously shut up and pass me a sausage roll. Well, let me tell you what Elle did the other day. Remember she turns two in December. She's not even two years old yet! Amongst me, hubby, three aunts and an uncle she started counting the polka dots on a new step stool, "One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten!" Ten! My baby counted to ten. How cool is that? Isn't she awesome? I see a mathlete in my future.

When I found out I was pregnant, there were many things I swore I'd never do because I was still going to be a cool, even as a mom. A woman once told me, that the best part of her day was when her kid had a poop. I thought what a loser. Today I have Eloise on my lap, and am making grunting noises to encourage her to poo. It's totally going to make my day once she does.