Does This Baby

Last Friday we found out that our next baby is a girl. There was a moment of, "OK fine, it’s not a boy. We're not going have that perfect little nuclear family", but it was quickly replaced by, "Sweet all our baby stuff is girlie anyways". Wow sisters. Is there anything more beautiful in life than the relationship between two sisters? I have a sister. My mom is one of  6 sisters, and now my daughter will have a sister. I love my sister. She will never  understand how much I love her. She rolls her eyes at me most of the time, because she thinks I’m mean to her, but really it’s tough love. I’m the older one, so I have an innate duty to take care of her, no matter what. I’m tough on her because she deserves to have her shit together, and I’m the only one that can force that on her. At the end of the day, she still has to love me. My mom, and Auntie Chanthon have a similar relationship, though I'd say my mom, the younger sister is the mean one. Or maybe...

I've noticed just in the recent weeks how fond of my dad Eloise is. There is a picture of him holding her on the fridge. At the sight of it, she smiles and starts the cutest giggles. When she was around 4 months old she would smile at random Asian men, or Asian women with short hair. I truly believe it's because, she thought they were her grandpa. I was on the phone last night with my dad, and told him about the picture. He was choking back tears, as he exclaimed how his heart was melting. Like all Asian kids, I've grown up being told by my parents, that I owe them big time for raising me. Parts of the repayment plan include, saving yourself marriage, getting married period, being some sort of professional, and buying a huge mansion of a house, where multiple cars can be parked in the front yard. And of course, the birth of a grandchild. Nagging aside, I've always intended on making sure my parents knew, how grateful I was to them, for my middle class upbringing. ...

My father has many tips for child rearing. "Drink a lot of soup. It helps make good breastmilk. Rub Tiger Balm on baby's belly, so she's warm at night. Babies need a bath twice a day, because it's refreshing." My favorite one, "Don't hold her all the time. She will get used to being held around like a baby". um, Dad...? We've been staying at my parents house for a week, while hubby is on holidays. Eloise has learned a trick. When grandpa walks by, she throws her arms in the air, implying that she wants him to pick her up. He does. I remind him of his rule, to not treat her like a baby. He giggles, and picks her up anyway.

Last week Eloise was over due for a poo. Two whole weeks over due. I Googled everything to do with baby constipation, and followed the best rated suggestions. I upped her prune intake, added ground flax seed to her cereal, and massaged her belly every hour. Nothing. I was visiting my mother on the 14th day, when she still hadn't pooped. My Cambodian mother says to me, "Push a piece of bar soap up her bum. When she goes to push it out, the poo will come out too." "I'm not sticking soap up my daughter's ass. You want her to poo that bad, you do it." I replied. My mother handed Eloise to me, while she went to cut a piece of soap. I whispered in my baby's ear grandma's plans. As soon a my mom walked back into the room holding a cone shaped piece of soap, Eloise started grunting. An entire two weeks worth of poo filled her diaper. Next time she's constipated I'm just going to wave a cone shaped piece of soap at her.

It just so happened that our doctor confirmed we were pregnant the Friday before Mother's Day. We were only six weeks along. Concerns of a miscarriage later rocked my world. However, at the time, there was no doubt in my mind that we were having a baby , so I really wanted to tell the folks as soon as possible. The last time I visited my mom and dad on the island, my mother was trying to persuade me to go see the doctor to figure out why at 27 I was so infertile. Ironically, I was pregnant at the time. Anyway, we had invited Donna, Spence's mom over to our house for a special Mother's Day brunch that I had prepared. After brunch, I told Donna that I wanted to get my mom on speaker phone, so I could wish her a Happy Mother's Day. The conversation went as follows; ME: Hey, Happy Mother's Day! MOM: Thanks sweetie, how are are? ME: Really good. I have a very special present for you, but you can't have it until Christmas. MOM: Huh? What? Spence and I are...