Does This Baby

I delivered our second daughter Rosalie 3 weeks ago, on November 7th. She was 3 days overdue. Not a huge deal in hindsight, but at the time it was 3 days too long. I had an acupuncture induction session the day before she was born to get things moving. I guess it worked. She came fast, and furious. My first contraction was at 8:45am. I pushed her out at 12:45pm. There wasn't much time for drugs, great for baby, but not for mama. The labour was painful, but the whole time I kept thinking thank god I won't be pregnant  anymore.  This is the list of things I will not miss about being pregnant. Waking up to pee three times a night. Strangers looking at me and saying, "You're ready to pop, eh?". Strangers telling me I was going to have a boy because of how high I was carrying baby. Irregular bowel movements (like I need anything extra taking up space in my belly.) Finding a new stretch mark on my stomach. Having Braxton Hicks, and realizing that the car is p...

I've been asked for months now; can she roll over? is she crawling yet? I sadly replied no, wondering why my child at 9 months was so late to establish these milestones. Fast forward 2 weeks. She sure can crawl. And yeah, the girl can roll over. Especially, when it's diaper changing time, and there's a huge piece of shit hanging from her ass, that transfers to my arm or sleeve. Yup, sure sad this didn't happen sooner...

Last week Eloise was over due for a poo. Two whole weeks over due. I Googled everything to do with baby constipation, and followed the best rated suggestions. I upped her prune intake, added ground flax seed to her cereal, and massaged her belly every hour. Nothing. I was visiting my mother on the 14th day, when she still hadn't pooped. My Cambodian mother says to me, "Push a piece of bar soap up her bum. When she goes to push it out, the poo will come out too." "I'm not sticking soap up my daughter's ass. You want her to poo that bad, you do it." I replied. My mother handed Eloise to me, while she went to cut a piece of soap. I whispered in my baby's ear grandma's plans. As soon a my mom walked back into the room holding a cone shaped piece of soap, Eloise started grunting. An entire two weeks worth of poo filled her diaper. Next time she's constipated I'm just going to wave a cone shaped piece of soap at her.

When I found out I was pregnant, there were many things I swore I'd never do because I was still going to be a cool, even as a mom. A woman once told me, that the best part of her day was when her kid had a poop. I thought what a loser. Today I have Eloise on my lap, and am making grunting noises to encourage her to poo. It's totally going to make my day once she does.